Tag Archives: single-parenting

Single-Parenting with God the Father

Our God is an awesome God; He reins as Lord forever and ever! When everyone and all else fails, our heavenly Father remains faithful to provide for us according to His riches in glory! Hallelujah, hallelujah!

I had to begin this blog posting with a praise break as I think of the recent help God the Father has sent towards my son, DaSean, and I. God proved Himself as ultimate Father to me as a child growing up in a single-parent home and continues to do so for me as a single-mother today. My mother couldn’t have made it without God raising four children singlehandedly; we as parents—whether married or single—continue to need Him now as our total source and resource.  He is the ultimate Co-Parent that we need to help us through the journey of parenting the beloved children whom He has blessed us with.

Yesterday, I woke up facing a financial shortage to meet the needs of DaSean’s extracurricular activities, but by the end of the day, God had provided everything I prayed and believed Him for. While at his first official football practice of the season on last evening, I lovingly watched he and his teammates practice as well as admired how DaSean himself gave his all to football. I also experienced sadness that his father was not present to witness or support one of the most exciting days of our son’s life—his first day of pursuing the sport of football. Looking around and seeing all the proud Dads was bittersweet for me as a single-mother: On the one hand, I was happy for the boys who were blessed with a father’s active presence in their lives and homes, while on the other, I was sad for mine who wished his dad was there for him on his special day.  It may be easier for one parent to accept the absence of another due to no choice or circumstance of their own such as death, but it’s hard to understand how a parent can willingly disconnect themselves from their own child.

Non-custodial and absentee parents who are guilty of this unfortunate crime, I pray that you will yield to and allow God to heal, touch and move in your life in such a way that you’ll be moved into active participation in the lives of your own child(ren) given to you by Him.
          ~ The Daughter of Christ

As I often do when I’m feeling low or frustrated, I called my Mom during my lunch hour, who could not only relate to my experience as a single-mother, but also to my hurt and pain as a woman. Thank God for great, dedicated and God-fearing Moms! Mommy immediately encouraged me to stand tall, trust God, and know that He is working it all out for DaSean’s greater good. He, DaSean’s ultimate Father, would not fail nor leave or forsake him. Mommy prayed with me (I thank God for a praying mother) and I instantly began to feel better.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.  
          ~ 2 Corinthians 4:8-10

Later that evening upon our return from football practice, I received a Twitter message from Judge Glenda G. Hatchett extending an open invitation to join her via teleconference to discuss the topic of single-parenting. I’d just connected with her a few days prior through Twitter direct message congratulating her on such an awesome interview and her newly-founded organization, Parent Power Now, after viewing her on CNN. I had no plans of ever communicating with Judge Hatchett again, nor had any expectations of her responding to me, but she did so immediately. I was absolutely stunned by her graciousness especially since she probably hadn’t even left the Atlanta CNN studios yet. What display of love, humility and connectedness! A true reflection of our heavenly Father.

I was honored and excited about the opportunity to join her teleconference, but I was also exhausted and emotionally drained from the day’s events. The Holy Spirit immediately spoke to my “no,” and instructed me to say “yes,” to Judge Hatchett’s invitation. I had five minutes before the teleconference began and several tasks to complete before bedtime, but I obeyed God and called in. At the end of the teleconference, I was so glad that I did! Hearing Judge Hatchett’s love, wisdom, inspiration, and candid transparency as a fellow single-parent (which I had no idea she was one) spoken to myself and others was a healing balm in Gilead that responded to my exact need at that exact moment as a single-mother. I cried during the teleconference and thereafter realizing that God had, yet again, supplied all my need (even emotionally) according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Surprisingly, through a source where I least expected it—one of my prominently successful Kingdom Sisters who I’d never imagined connecting or communicating with in life.  Iron truly sharpens iron.

For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.
          
~ 2nd Corinthians 4:18

Part of my vision for The Daughters of Christ, Inc. (Sorority) is to minister to the needs of single-parents and their children. Upon Judge Hatchett’s Twitter invitation to join her movement to uplift the lives of parents through her organization Parent Power Now, I realized that God was connecting the dots of His Kingdom Children and bringing us together to fulfill His service initiatives in the world one community at a time. God has given His Daughter, Judge Hatchett, the mantle, the vision, and the ability to address the needs of parenting issues. This responds to The Daughters of Christ Sorority’s vision to do the same: Our organization can and will collaborate with our Kingdom Sister Judge Hatchett’s vision to provide the parenting support and dialogue that we as mothers and fathers so desperately need, yet often lack. Therefore, I’m humbly asking the Kingdom Sisters & Royal Sorors within the sphere of my influence (who are parents) to join the Parent Power Now movement by building a profile at www.parentpowernow.com as I’ve done. Also, please join my Group, The Daughters of Christ Sorority, within her website.

My fellow single-parents, be encouraged and know that God is available 24 hours a day to meet you and your children’s needs. All you have to do is give Him the lead to do so by making Him Lord of your life. He is the best Co-Parent that you could ever hope to have and the most Loving Father any child could ever dream of. He is our Father, our Daddy, our Lord. He is mine—and He is your’s. Allow Him take the wheel of your life’s journey to drive you and your children towards victory in every area of your lives.

I’m praying for you and trust that you too, are praying for me. Your heavenly Daddy loves you and your babies and so do I!

Purposefully Yours, Your Sister Darnella
The Daughter of Christ

Weeping May Endure For A Night…

A couple of weeks ago, one of my (blood) sisters were visiting our home in Brooklyn, NY to celebrate her birthday when she called me with the most horrific news that instaneously turned her trip from being a joyous occasion to a saddened one: A friend of mine had lost his 25-year-old son to gun violence leaving a 2-year-old daughter behind and one on the way in a few months. I was absolutely devasted!

I felt the pain of not only my friend (that I haven’t seen since moving away from home after college), but as a parent with two children of my own. How was my friend getting through this devastating loss of a child? At that moment, I just simply could not imagine. It made me love and appreciate all over again the two children that God has temporarily loaned to me. On the contrary, it also made me hate and abhor the gun violence our world is experiencing especially amongst the (my) African-American community’s males. As I spoke to my sister over the telephone, I was thinking, yet another family and community grieving the loss of a son gone too soon; yet another mother’s, father’s, sister’s, brother’s heart broken into pieces. My question still lingers… Why? Will somebody please tell me why?

My family and I have personally endured the grief of loosing young loved ones to gun violence. Sadly, there are few African-American families whom have not been touched (or at least know someone in their midst who have been touched) by this cruel social ill. I’ll never forget viewing my young cousins’ lifeless bodies (three to be exact–two of which were brothers killed a few years apart) in a still casket and thinking, “we were supposed to grow old together.” Anytime I hear of death by gun violence, it resurfaces my own personal painful experience all over again causing me to do what I did back then: Run into the arms of my Jesus and lay my grieving weights completely on Him!

Thank God for His Word that I read and embraced as if my life depended upon it during every grieving season: Weeping may endure for a night, BUT JOY cometh in the morning! Jeremiah 31:13 provides a promise from our heavenly Father, I will turn their mourning into joy. I thanked God for all of my friends who surrounded themselves around my family and I during our experiences of grief from death which provided us much strength. But nobody’s words (as nice as they were) could provide me the healing comfort and strength that God’s Word was able to. Through grief, I’ve learned to trust in Jesus and depend on Him more than I had before.

My thoughts are now particularly towards the mother who is now faced to raise children as single-mother without their dad. As a single mother myself, I understand clearly the challenging road that lies ahead for her. But praise God that as a Daughter of the ultimate Father, I also know without a shadow of a doubt, that by allowing her God to carry, lead and guide her, she will mother victoriously and her daughters will rise up through life successfully.

This incident has emblazened my heartfelt passion for the community service initiative that I’ve envisioned to launch, my Father Lift Her program through The Daughters of Christ, Inc., that will serve and support single mothers and her children.  It also brought back to my remembrance the police officer who was killed in a car accident in Montgomery County MD this year leaving a widow, a child and expectant triplets on the way. When I read this story, my heart broke, but I allowed it to move me into action to help this new single mom once my program is up and running as well. There are so many single mothers who need the love of a judgeless community and the compassion of a service-oriented one as well. I personally am moved into action to serve, to heal, and to love. Will you join me?

If you have recently suffered a loss and/or are experiencing grief at this time, look up, see God and allow Him to reach for you to carry and comfort you in His loving arms. Psalm 31 is my favorite to read at a time like this. I pray that you’ll find it comforting as well. You will continue to have your moments of crying or shouts of anger–that is human and a normal reaction to loss. But I also know from personal experience, that although you will never forget your loved one, you will rise to live, to love, and to leap again towards your unique purpose in life that brings you joy.

The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. The Lord gives his people strength. He is a safe fortress for this anointed king. Save your people! Bless Israel, your special possession. Lead them like a shepherd, and carry them in your arms forever. (Psalm 28:7-9)

I dedicate this blog posting to the entire Maxey family–stand strong and see the salvation of our Lord!

I Love you my Royal Family and am praying diligently for you and your’s.

Always, Your Sister Darnella
The Daughter of Christ